Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Just shy of being home 3 weeks...who would have thought???




GOOD JOB (ha-RO-shee) LUKE!!!
These next couple of photos (below) are of Ryan and Luke...it's good to be brothers!!!Oopsie...forgot there is also one with Ron, Ryan and Luke...my boys' :)














Notice the spaghetti on both of their faces? Mmmm that was great!!!



WOW!!! This pretty much sums up the past 20 days :) It has been an incredible journey for those who are just starting out in the process and so worth the wait!!! Everyday Luke does something new...such as today I gave him a fork, just to hold as mentioned by Dr. Farber and the Early Intervention assesors, never expecting him to "actually" learn how to use it. I showed him once how to "fork" his hot dog and low and behold this is how he ate the rest of his hot dog. Ryan and I were amazed, just amazed!!! Everytime he "forked" his hot dog we (Ryan and I) clapped our hands and said YEA and the Russian version haroshee prounced ha-RO-shee, he loved this!!!
In the short 20 days that Luke has been home with us so much has happened. We never thought it would be possible to open our hearts to another little creature as much as we had with Ryan. We consider ourselves lucky not the other way around, as has been told to us on numerous occasion, especially lately.
Recently, we went to Walgreens to get a picture for Luke's Russian Consulate registration b/c techinally even though when the airplane touched down Luke automatically became a US Citizen, he is still a Russian Citizen too. Thus is why we had to get him a photo and of course fill out more paperwork. But I will state that our agency, EAC, has been WONDERFUL and when you come home with your bundle of joy all you are required to do is like I've stated fill out paperwork, get a passport type photo, send EAC Luke's original Russian passport, a copy of his birth certificate, and the decision of the court. We sent it off to EAC and they handle the rest...I kid you not, it truly was that easy! Also, b/c of the region Luke is from Primorsky Krai, we opted to do this rather than re-direct our flight home and go through Moscow, Russia. We had a courier do the Embassy for us and we would then send Luke's info. in with the information for the Russian Consulate. The photo at Walgreens was cute and I got to one b/c all we needed to send in was one passport type photo...memories :) Ron states that I'm extremely girlie, I can't help it :) I probably should have had his US passport photos done at this time :/ I didn't even think of it until now.
Luke has been bonding nicely with us, especially his big brother Ryan :) It certainly is enjoyable to watch our boys' bond. Everynight before bed we give hugs and kisses, yes all of us, the boys' kiss and hug each other last and everynight I sit there and cry like a baby at the marvel of our boys'!!! The boys' play together, they fight together, walk hand in hand down the sidewalk together...it is astonishing to watch :) You would never know that they weren't biological brothers' b/c in reality they are brothers'. Now the fighting and the tattling we can do without but you know what I wouldn't change a thing! Ryan and Luke sleep in the same room. We do have a 3 bedroom house however our thinking was that Luke would appreciate having his big brother in the same room and Ryan has told me that YES he does like the fact that his baby brother shares a room with him. Luke came from a room with 5 other children in the Baby Hospital. Many, many mornings I have awoken to Ryan and Luke talking, well Ryan saying I don't understand what you are saying Luke, and Luke just babbling away. Plus our third bedroom is a playroom, so all in all it made sense that our boys' would share a room. We wanted to get a bunk bed set but after talking with family and friends who have toddlers (yes, it has been that long since we have had a toddler) they told us to wait and see. I am extremely glad we not only listened to these family and friends but decided not to get the bunk bed set...just yet. When Luke first arrived home we co-slept. Ron, Ryan and myself in our bed and Luke in the pack n play, this went on for about a week. We had every intention of putting the children in their own room as soon as possible but we lost a vital bracket that attached to Ryan's old crib when we went to change it from his daybed back to a crib. We still have yet to locate that vital piece but we have been back to Babies R Us and reordered the bracket. In the meantime, yes the boys' have been sleeping in their room, Ron cleverly put the crib together and trust me Luke will not break out, not that he has tried, Thank-Goodness, but just in case.
Luke does have his bonding issues, I will say that. Every afternoon he wakes up from at least a two hour nap and it's almost as if he doesn't know where he is, it's as if he is disoriented. This is the only time he has this issue. He usually cries for 30 to 45 minutes and he doesn't want the floor, his crib, or even me. It was rough the first few times this type of reaction happened, especially on me and the fact that usually it's just me and Ryan home at this time...no Daddy, this was difficult. B/C Luke was with Ron for such an extended period of time in Russia that Luke obviously trusts his Daddy more, which is understandable. However he has accepted that he needs to be held during this time and now wants to be held...as many of you know this a step in the right direction. It makes sense that he is still establishing exactly who Ron and I are and how we will always be here for him.
I believe friends of ours, Jesse & Jason, said it perfectly in their blog...>>>Follow bonding rules. it avoids RAD in the long run, and that, can be really hard to undo. Besides, it is great to be a little selfish and spend time alone your new baby sans tv, too many toys and malls. DON'T get discouraged by others! Stick to it! Like my mother says, it's a natural urge for others to hold your new baby, just say nyet, not yet. Bonding. I have found myself putting my hand between strangers and Alina when they want to take her little hand. They are being sweet, I keep it polite. I look at it as I am the gate keeper, and Alina looks to me to protect her right now. Remember she has had like 20 mamas in the BH, this is the time to show her the one mama she needs. :)<<<
I LOVE the last line...it is so perfect, it explains EVERYTHING!!! So, if we (Ron and I) are rude or seem to be rude PLEASE understand this "that we are just trying to establish we are his Mama and Dada".
Our first weekend home with Luke was interesting, it's funny how you look back on things and say oh that's why he did that! Now I can understand! We were at a family baptism and Luke accidentally tripped over Ryan's feet landing right on the edge of the table. I was not there, I did not see this happen but Ron did and he told me that Luke didn't even shed one tear. Everyone who was there told me the same exact story and they said he is such trooper! It didn't hit until last week exactly why he didn't cry? He didn't know that we (his Mama and Dada) would comfort him. This is something that he has been testing this week in particular. He fell the other day and he looked up to see how I would react or should I say over-react? It wasn't until our eyes met that he scrunched up his face and let these crocodile tears out. I don't know if this is what happened on that Sunday when he fell into the table but this is what we are thinking, as adoptive parents. Luke's Baby Hospital took great care of him but there was only so much they could do. Did they kiss his boo-boos when he fell, did they pick him up when he cried? For now we have to over-react to everything he does.
Again, on the advice of Jesse & Jason, I have ordered The Connected Child and can not wait till it gets here...come on Amazon! In all honesty we never needed this type of book with Ryan, I believe b/c he was extremely young at the time of his adoption. I did however read a few books about attachment and adoption when we adopted Ryan, just to make sure we were on the right path. Ryan was 10.5 months old at the time of his adoption. Luke was 17 months old when the court decided that YES we are to be his parents. So quite a bit of an age difference. We were told that the book The Connected Child helps you to understand exactly what your child has been through and exactly how to deal with institutionalized behavior. However, I have read Toddler Adoption: The Weavers Craft in prep of actually getting a 17 month old and I can say this is an excellent book. The book does prepare you for the worst, if not scares you a bit, but it does help you in assessing your toddler's behavior. There are numerous suggestions that I think are priceless.
So, in a nutshell this is what life has been like for the past 20 days with Luke. Oh, and his love/hate relationship of the собака (dogs), which I'm sure Family and Friends have all read that blog :) His love for the cats has grown too. Yesterday, he started "hissing" at the cats, gee I wonder where he learned that from??? So, now everytime he sees a cat he "hisses"...too cute!!!



Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Luke :)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Early Intervention Assessment of Luke

Today was Luke's eval. from Early Intervention. In order to qualify for services here in the State of NJ he needed 25% delay in two or more areas or 33% delay in one area. The two assessor's came into our house to do the eval., they brought with them a box full of toys. Honestly, Luke liked the box best of all and climbing on and off the box :) He was extremely curious when the one assessor opened the box, peaking over the lid to find out what was in the box. To his delight toys and more toys!
He scored age-appropriate in just about everything that was tested, such as receptive language, cognitive, and gross motor skills, etc. He did however score within the 15 month age level for expressive language. But it was stated that this is due to the transition. He is babbling though and saying English words, such as Dada, Mama, ba-ba, oof-oof (to the dogs) and oow-oow (we assume this is the sound of a cow). We are unsure as to whether or not we will continue with the Russian, we would like to, b/c Ryan really enjoys saying the few phrases that Ron has taught him in Russian. Yes, Ryan talks to his baby brother in Russian and Luke responds and does what is asked of him. He babbled throughout the eval., pointing and gesturing towards objects and looking to us (the adults) to label the objects he was pointing to. The assessor's were impressed with him especially for only being home 19 days from Russia. They told me that they thought that the expressive language would come along nicely in three months. The assessor's said that they would not mind coming back in three months to re-eval. This is the plan of attack, so to speak.
So, YES Luke does NOT qualify for services. Even though he had a 15 month delay in expressive language it is not enough to qualify him for services. We are to say the least, extremely PLEASED with this information :)

Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Luke :)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

It truly is a love/hate relationship with the собака (dogs)




Luke: Do you like my Elmo slippers as much as I do Summer???


Please excuse the wash in the background :/ Our house looks as if a bomb went off! Here Luke is saying "Stay Back"!!! LOL!



Luke: Maybe if I close the door they won't know where I went to?




Luke has been home 18 days and during that time a lot has happened to our little munchkin. For one thing he has met our dogs (собака). This is a story in and of itself :) The first time Luke ever met our dogs, Summer & Boulder he screamed bloody murder. It went on like this for about the next week and a half. We thought that it would get better, it did not :/
Until, Luke realized that when he ate he had an audience watching his every move. We don't ever need a vacuum cleaner that's why we have dogs :) Also, in between meals I give Luke a snack, sometimes he is in his highchair but most of the time he is not. So, needless to say he always has a biter biscuit, some baby goldfish or even puffs in his hand. He soon found out that the dogs watch him and follow him like a hawk. I will say that Luke likes having an audience now, whether it may be in his highchair or while he is running around snacking on food. He also noticed that they listen to him when he says "pah-ka pah-ka" (bye-bye) or "da" (yes). Apparently, our dogs have become bilingual too :) If the dogs get too close or over-step their welcome Luke lets them know, usually it's a blood curdling scream. Which we love so much :/
What we like the best is when Luke is hungry EVERYONE knows it, even our dogs. We put him up in the highchair, strap him in, feed him and the dogs are right there waiting and wishing that he drops some food, even it's just a morsel...it's something. However, we have not found a food that Luke doesn't like at this point :) The hilarious part of this is that Summer licks his feet, as if to say "don't forget about me down here". We will have to take video and put it on here of this :)
The cats (кошачьи), yes for those of you counting we now have two dogs, two cats, and now two children :) Luke literally terrorizes the cats. The other day he came running into the kitchen with a fist full of fur, it was black fur so it came from Wiggles. The cats try to avoid him at all cost. The dogs don't. He now uses Summer as a stepping stool to climb on the couch. We have no idea what happened but yesterday we were cleaning up breakfast and all of a sudden here comes Luke with both, not just one but both, dogs chasing him. Then Luke stopped, turned around and went back the other way and both dogs followed him.
We hope that this bond grows between the dogs and Luke, just as it has grown between Ryan and the dogs. We do not want to go back to those blood curdling screams through out the house.



Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Luke :)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

International Adoption Clinic at CHOP...Yesterday

I'm sorry I truly did want to chronicle everything that happened yesterday but I fell asleep at the computer and Ron woke me up this morning at 6AM and I typed all t's, that's never good. Apparently, I was more tired than I thought I was yesterday :/ So, here is what happened yesterday...
We (Ryan, Luke and myself) went to the International Adoption Clinic at CHOP for Luke's Dr.'s appt. with the International Adoption Specialist, Dr. Farber. No, Ron did not come due to having to work and having used all his vacation/sick/personal days up while in Russia for 23 days :( We were there for about 3 hours. They poked and prodded Luke, as to be expected. In all honesty he did quite well with everything, even the ear and throat exam :) He even showed Dr. Farber what a great set of lungs he had :) We had the percentile for height, weight and head circumference from last week's appt. with Luke's general peds Dr. The only measurement that was off was the percentile for the weight, according to Luke's general peds. Dr. he was in the 3rd percentile and according to Dr. Farber he falls into the 5th to 10th percentile. Perhaps it was the scales or it could have been different offices? But we like that Luke is in the 5th to 10th percentile for weight!!!
Michele, the OT, who is a part of Dr. Farber's team, was also there yesterday. She gave Luke a Peabody Developmental Motor Scales Assessment (PDMS-2). This is utilized to determine if Luke would require any developmental therapies. I will state that he passed with flying colors :) His gross motor skills are on target, in the 17 to 18 month range. His fine motor skills are in the 16 month range, still adequate. He needed to show a 25% delay in order to qualify for services, such as PT and OT. His feeding, eating, self-care, and cognitive skills were on target. His language is of course delayed, but just like Ron and I thought, "it's a transition". We do say "simple" Russian phrases to him (by the way, Thanks to Jesse and Jason for this) and then immediately follow-up with the English phrase. Their were certain aspects of this exam that I expected, such as his low tone. The reason is due to where Luke came from...institutionalized care. Michele, who was wonderful, gave very insightful ideas to over come this and other aspects.
The team was impressed with how well he has bonded to all of us (Ryan, Dada, and Mama). However, there are things we can and will work on. Overall, the team was extremely impressed!!! Dr. Farber marveled at what a GREAT little boy he is, she just reinforced what Ron, Ryan and I already knew...that Luke is "perfect".
I adore Dr. Farber and her team, they are spectacular!!! As a matter of fact, Dr. Farber saw Ryan (our first adopted son) nearly 5 years ago to date. Yes, she was his International Adoption Specialist too :)
Dr. Farber sent us to the lab, once the team was done marveling at Luke :) This was interesting in and of itself. I will say that Ryan has been the biggest helper with everything, especially when we went to the lab to have Luke's blood drawn. We (Ron, Dr. Farber and myself) agreed that we wouldn't double vaccinate Luke. That it would be better to get titers to see what he is vaccinated against and what he wasn't vaccinated against. We did get his shot records in Russia but we just want to be sure. Also, Dr. Farber is running labs on Luke to see if we need to be concerned about anything. We were also given specimen cups...to collect poop :/ I can't tell you how much fun this was when we did it for Ryan :/ LOL!!! The poop needs to be collected over the next three days and then returned to the lab to check for parasites, such as Giardia, etc.
The phlebotomist was sweet, she told me "now Mom we have to draw a lot of blood from him". The phlebotomist wasn't kidding, she had 11 tubes that needed to be filled :( Luke actually watched as the butterfly needle went in to his arm, then once he realized it hurt he screamed his little head off :( Ryan was cute b/c he was trying his best to distract his baby brother Luke by singing the wheels on the bus and the itsy bitsy spider...two of Luke's favorites right now :) The louder Luke was screaming, the louder Ryan was with his singing. It was comical! Around the 5th to 6th tube Luke actually calmed down and joined Ryan in the melody. Then Ryan got bored and decided to touch the needle in Luke arm, of course while the phlebotomist's head was turned :/ Yep, he moved the needle and the blood stopped! Thank-Goodness the phlebotomist was nearly done, all she needed was a syringe with 2mls of blood. However, she didn't get the 2mls :( I didn't tell her why either. I understand that Ryan was curious b/c Ryan too has had his fair share of blood drawn over the years. With the amount of blood she did get in the syringe it was enough to do the specific test...whew! The best part was when they put a pretty purple bandage, almost like ace wrap, around the arm where the phlebotomist had drawn the blood. Talk about adding insult to injury. Luke wanted to rip that pretty purple bandage off very badly! Daddy would have been so proud of him :) Once we left the lab I took off the pretty purple bandage and you know what Luke stopped freaking out. I noticed last night that Luke now has a bruise where the phlebotomist drew the blood :(
After our fun experience at the lab, we then left CHOP, headed home to eat lunch and get back on the road b/c Ryan had a GI appt. at DuPont in Delaware yesterday too. I'm just now realizing that yesterday I traveled through three states...wow! Ryan did wonderful at his GI appt. as well :)
It definitely is a challenge getting places, whether it may be a Dr.'s appt. or even the library, on time, especially with two in tow now. We do seem to be adjusting, slowly but surely :)


PS-Yesterday, was also Luke's 2 week Anniversary home with Dada, Mama, and of course big brother Ryan :) I can't believe he has been home 2 weeks already...wow!

PS2-The only other hurdle we have to get through now is the Early Intervention Evaluation, that will be occurring at the house on Monday, June 23, 2008. Wish us luck :)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY Daddy :)







Ron woke up this morning on Father's Day to not only one little boy jumping on him but now two :) He asked me, "is this what having two boys' is like"? I replied, I LOVE it, don't you? He looked at me and told me "of course, who wouldn't want to be awoken by two boys' jumping on their belly and head"???



Ryan, Luke and myself got up *extra* early this morning to work on a project for Daddy. It was a tee-shirt that said "The BEST Dad Hands Down"! The tee-shirt came with color safe toxic- free paint, that the boys' colored their tiny little hands with the paint and then we put their hand prints on the tee-shirt. I wish I would've had photos of this, b/c OM we had the paint EVERYWHERE!!! Thank-Goodness I decided to put Luke in his highchair (to contain him) b/c Ryan was laughing so hard at Luke, the reason...Luke had the paint in his hair, on the side of his face, up his nose...you get the point :) We had fun though, just ask Ryan!



Then Ron was off to paint my sister's condo :) What a guy!!! My Dad (Pop-Pop) came by to pick Ron up and Pop-Pop was wearing his "The BEST Grandpa Hands Down"! shirt from 2 years ago that Ryan put his tiny little hand prints on. My Dad told me I will have to update the shirt...in other words he wants one now with both of his Grandsons hand prints :)






Love & HUGS,



Jenny, Ron, Ryan and Luke :)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

What an INCREDIBLE 5 days this has been :)


We are extremely lucky to have crossed paths with our newly adopted baby boy!!! OMG!!! I believe the title states it all :) Don't get me wrong it has been overwhelming at times but I will say more than not Luke has been such a joy.

He does still have his days and nights mixed up but this is to be expected. After all, Ron is also still jet lagged. I think the roughest night was Thursday into Friday when Luke woke up at about 3:30 AM and was up as if it was time to get up, play and eat :) We have been establishing a schedule that pretty much he stuck to today 6/10/08, woohoo!!!

I think the roughest days have been the past two, at least for me (Jenny). Only b/c it has been just Luke and myself. Ryan is still in school till this coming Friday and Ron went back to work yesterday. And YES during this horrible heat! To answer those questions, NO Ron does not have air condition in his UPS truck-UGH! Of course, Ron goes back to work when our weather goes crazy and we reach record temperatures :( I actually forgot how much work an infant/toddler can be, b/c you don't realize how self sufficient a 5 year can be. Ryan climbs into the car and out of the car, he can buckle himself in, take his seat belt off, open up doors...in other words "boy oh boy" what an adjustment this has been :)

Ryan adores his baby brother and likes being called a "BIG BROTHER". I was amazed at what a wonderful helper Ryan has been and he "wants" to help. I will post some photos of the "brothers" that are incredible!!! What got Ron and I was how Ryan gave Luke a big hug and a kiss, unprompted by us, on Saturday :) This literally brought us both to tears.

Saturday we went to a family birthday party and Sunday we went to family baptism. What shocked me the most is how Luke has bonded to all of us, especially myself. Also, he is not scared of everything so much anymore. He adapts extremely well. This is the only reason we decided to go to our family events this past weekend. Originally, we planned for just Ron and Ryan to go to both of the parties. I will state that the inevitable fear of RAD (reactive attachment disorder) will always be in the back of our minds. Honestly, I believe this is every new adoptive parents fear.

Then, yesterday Luke had his 18 month check up/new baby check up at our general pediatrician. He did fabulous! He is in the 50th percentile for height, 10th percentile for head circumference, and 3rd percentile for weight. He actually has gained weight from just being home :) He is eating us out of house and home and probably will continue to do so. According to the pediatrician, he is physically/developmentally on target but the pediatrician wants us to call Early Intervention just to get him evaluated.

This morning, I woke up to Luke throwing kisses from his crib...just incredible!!!


Love & HUGS,

Jenny, Ron, Ryan, and Luke :)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Ron and Luke are FINALLY home!!!
















Ron and Luke arrived last night and were waiting for us at JFK airport. Ron wasn't too happy b/c he and Luke had been waiting in the airport since their flight disembarked at 8:05 PM and Louie, Ryan and myself arrived at 9:30 PM--oopsie! Ron and Luke sailed thru immigration and customs, got their luggage and were ready, waiting and able to go home at 8:40 PM. The reason Louie, Ryan and myself were late is due to the monsoon Louie drove thru on the NJ turnpike. It was extremely treacherous but we made it!!!





Ron and I decided to keep Ryan home from school, this way we could ALL bond together :) Good thing we did decide this b/c Ryan didn't get to bed until at least 12:30 AM. Unfortunately, Luke has his days and nights mixed up...so when Ron and I were ready for bed Luke was not :/ Last night he only slept about 3 hours-UGH!



Thanks,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan and Luke :)
PS-That was the first time I've signed all 4 of our names :)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Almost here...

Hi Everyone,
Just want to let everyone know that we will be leaving for the airport soon :) I'm SUPER excited!!! I just checked Ron and Luke's flight status and they will be arriving 36 minutes past their arrival time...must be the weather. If you want to check out their arrival time they are flying Korean Air flight 85, the website is http://www.koreanair.com/
Ron's best friend Louie will be escorting Ryan and I to JFK airport. Thank-You Louie :) Can you believe when we return home we will be a family of 4??? WOW!!! I hope I can hold it together long enough for us to make it to JFK airport :/ I feel as if I'm going to vomit :/ I believe this is my nerves!
The couple Ron has grown sooooooooo close to these past 23 days did a WONDERFUL tribute to my husband...Ron :) Jesse and Jason THANK-YOU again!!! You truly have become terrific friends!!! Their website is http://jasonandjessesadoption.blogspot.com/

Thanks to EVERYONE,
Jenny & Ryan...soon to be Ron and Luke too :)

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Safe Travels...

Can everyone PLEASE pray that Ron and Luke have safe travels home? They leave tonight b/c Vlad., Russia is 15 hours ahead of us, so it's actually Wednesday morning there already. It will literally take Ron and Luke 24 hours to get back to us, get this one...tomorrow. Weird, huh? I originally asked Ron to blog one last time from Russia, he told that he was but that the computer was giving him trouble. Oh well no last blog from Ron :( Unless for some reason or another it decides to post itself. Wouldn't that be WONDERFUL?
Ron told me that he would miss his time at the VMI...NOT! LOL!!! Honestly, he can't wait to get on that plane and get his tushie home! I don't think we even realized we would have missed each other as much as we have. Today, I past a serta sheep on a store front window and I started balling my eyes out :( For those that don't know that is "our thing", as a couple. Cheesy I know, but I can't help myself!


Thanks everyone and we LOVE you,
Jenny

Leaving finally

Hi everyone,

Last night here at the VMI and then it is Luke's and my journey home or his new home. Well the stay here has been interesting and not fun alone(as in with out Jen or Ryan) , but new friends have helped out sooooo much esp Jesse,Jason and Alina. The 3 of them have really helped me out sooooooooooo much i do not even think they realize. I tried helping out the new parents that they are with little wisdom from parenting Ryan as a young child with Jen. I can't wait to get off the plane and let Ryan and esp Jen see and hold Luke and we become a family again with all 4 of us. The new gotcha day for the family.I will miss here but will really miss Irina who has been soooo helpful through this all. Jen she kept me away from the Russian women lol. Sorry inside joke. Well going to try and sleep it is like 4 am here and i can't sleep. Well everyone next post will be when we are home and a full family . Thank you everyone for all the support you gave us all . THANK YOU . Jesse and Jason you have a beautiful daughter and wish you all the best of luck and you 2 will be great parents good luck and THANK YOU again. Bye from the VMI
Pah-ka, Pah-ka.