GOOD JOB (ha-RO-shee) LUKE!!!These next couple of photos (below) are of Ryan and Luke...it's good to be brothers!!!Oopsie...forgot there is also one with Ron, Ryan and Luke...my boys' :)
Notice the spaghetti on both of their faces? Mmmm that was great!!!WOW!!! This pretty much sums up the past 20 days :) It has been an incredible journey for those who are just starting out in the process and so worth the wait!!! Everyday Luke does something new...such as today I gave him a fork, just to hold as mentioned by Dr. Farber and the Early Intervention assesors, never expecting him to "actually" learn how to use it. I showed him once how to "fork" his hot dog and low and behold this is how he ate the rest of his hot dog. Ryan and I were amazed, just amazed!!! Everytime he "forked" his hot dog we (Ryan and I) clapped our hands and said YEA and the Russian version haroshee prounced ha-RO-shee, he loved this!!!
In the short 20 days that Luke has been home with us so much has happened. We never thought it would be possible to open our hearts to another little creature as much as we had with Ryan. We consider ourselves lucky not the other way around, as has been told to us on numerous occasion, especially lately.
Recently, we went to Walgreens to get a picture for Luke's Russian Consulate registration b/c techinally even though when the airplane touched down Luke automatically became a US Citizen, he is still a Russian Citizen too. Thus is why we had to get him a photo and of course fill out more paperwork. But I will state that our agency, EAC, has been WONDERFUL and when you come home with your bundle of joy all you are required to do is like I've stated fill out paperwork, get a passport type photo, send EAC Luke's original Russian passport, a copy of his birth certificate, and the decision of the court. We sent it off to EAC and they handle the rest...I kid you not, it truly was that easy! Also, b/c of the region Luke is from Primorsky Krai, we opted to do this rather than re-direct our flight home and go through Moscow, Russia. We had a courier do the Embassy for us and we would then send Luke's info. in with the information for the Russian Consulate. The photo at Walgreens was cute and I got to one b/c all we needed to send in was one passport type photo...memories :) Ron states that I'm extremely girlie, I can't help it :) I probably should have had his US passport photos done at this time :/ I didn't even think of it until now.
Luke has been bonding nicely with us, especially his big brother Ryan :) It certainly is enjoyable to watch our boys' bond. Everynight before bed we give hugs and kisses, yes all of us, the boys' kiss and hug each other last and everynight I sit there and cry like a baby at the marvel of our boys'!!! The boys' play together, they fight together, walk hand in hand down the sidewalk together...it is astonishing to watch :) You would never know that they weren't biological brothers' b/c in reality they are brothers'. Now the fighting and the tattling we can do without but you know what I wouldn't change a thing! Ryan and Luke sleep in the same room. We do have a 3 bedroom house however our thinking was that Luke would appreciate having his big brother in the same room and Ryan has told me that YES he does like the fact that his baby brother shares a room with him. Luke came from a room with 5 other children in the Baby Hospital. Many, many mornings I have awoken to Ryan and Luke talking, well Ryan saying I don't understand what you are saying Luke, and Luke just babbling away. Plus our third bedroom is a playroom, so all in all it made sense that our boys' would share a room. We wanted to get a bunk bed set but after talking with family and friends who have toddlers (yes, it has been that long since we have had a toddler) they told us to wait and see. I am extremely glad we not only listened to these family and friends but decided not to get the bunk bed set...just yet. When Luke first arrived home we co-slept. Ron, Ryan and myself in our bed and Luke in the pack n play, this went on for about a week. We had every intention of putting the children in their own room as soon as possible but we lost a vital bracket that attached to Ryan's old crib when we went to change it from his daybed back to a crib. We still have yet to locate that vital piece but we have been back to Babies R Us and reordered the bracket. In the meantime, yes the boys' have been sleeping in their room, Ron cleverly put the crib together and trust me Luke will not break out, not that he has tried, Thank-Goodness, but just in case.
Luke does have his bonding issues, I will say that. Every afternoon he wakes up from at least a two hour nap and it's almost as if he doesn't know where he is, it's as if he is disoriented. This is the only time he has this issue. He usually cries for 30 to 45 minutes and he doesn't want the floor, his crib, or even me. It was rough the first few times this type of reaction happened, especially on me and the fact that usually it's just me and Ryan home at this time...no Daddy, this was difficult. B/C Luke was with Ron for such an extended period of time in Russia that Luke obviously trusts his Daddy more, which is understandable. However he has accepted that he needs to be held during this time and now wants to be held...as many of you know this a step in the right direction. It makes sense that he is still establishing exactly who Ron and I are and how we will always be here for him.
I believe friends of ours, Jesse & Jason, said it perfectly in their blog...>>>Follow bonding rules. it avoids RAD in the long run, and that, can be really hard to undo. Besides, it is great to be a little selfish and spend time alone your new baby sans tv, too many toys and malls. DON'T get discouraged by others! Stick to it! Like my mother says, it's a natural urge for others to hold your new baby, just say nyet, not yet. Bonding. I have found myself putting my hand between strangers and Alina when they want to take her little hand. They are being sweet, I keep it polite. I look at it as I am the gate keeper, and Alina looks to me to protect her right now. Remember she has had like 20 mamas in the BH, this is the time to show her the one mama she needs. :)<<<
I LOVE the last line...it is so perfect, it explains EVERYTHING!!! So, if we (Ron and I) are rude or seem to be rude PLEASE understand this "that we are just trying to establish we are his Mama and Dada".
Our first weekend home with Luke was interesting, it's funny how you look back on things and say oh that's why he did that! Now I can understand! We were at a family baptism and Luke accidentally tripped over Ryan's feet landing right on the edge of the table. I was not there, I did not see this happen but Ron did and he told me that Luke didn't even shed one tear. Everyone who was there told me the same exact story and they said he is such trooper! It didn't hit until last week exactly why he didn't cry? He didn't know that we (his Mama and Dada) would comfort him. This is something that he has been testing this week in particular. He fell the other day and he looked up to see how I would react or should I say over-react? It wasn't until our eyes met that he scrunched up his face and let these crocodile tears out. I don't know if this is what happened on that Sunday when he fell into the table but this is what we are thinking, as adoptive parents. Luke's Baby Hospital took great care of him but there was only so much they could do. Did they kiss his boo-boos when he fell, did they pick him up when he cried? For now we have to over-react to everything he does.
Again, on the advice of Jesse & Jason, I have ordered The Connected Child and can not wait till it gets here...come on Amazon! In all honesty we never needed this type of book with Ryan, I believe b/c he was extremely young at the time of his adoption. I did however read a few books about attachment and adoption when we adopted Ryan, just to make sure we were on the right path. Ryan was 10.5 months old at the time of his adoption. Luke was 17 months old when the court decided that YES we are to be his parents. So quite a bit of an age difference. We were told that the book The Connected Child helps you to understand exactly what your child has been through and exactly how to deal with institutionalized behavior. However, I have read Toddler Adoption: The Weavers Craft in prep of actually getting a 17 month old and I can say this is an excellent book. The book does prepare you for the worst, if not scares you a bit, but it does help you in assessing your toddler's behavior. There are numerous suggestions that I think are priceless.
So, in a nutshell this is what life has been like for the past 20 days with Luke. Oh, and his love/hate relationship of the собака (dogs), which I'm sure Family and Friends have all read that blog :) His love for the cats has grown too. Yesterday, he started "hissing" at the cats, gee I wonder where he learned that from??? So, now everytime he sees a cat he "hisses"...too cute!!!
Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Luke :)
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