Sunday, September 26, 2010

Our DEAR Summer we bid you farewell...



We have been having the worst luck, lately!  On Thursday, September 23, 2010, Ron and I decided it was time our beloved first furry baby (aka Summer, our yellow lab) go to Heaven.  I didn't think it would be as difficult as it was to put her down.  I really do despise that saying, "put her down".  Its just an awful saying!  I prefer euthanized but it sounds as if you are stating what happened with no feelings for this creature who was a part of your life from the time she was a tiny puppy. 

It had been a rough night, the night before, with her panting and constantly getting up and lying back down.  She kept on moving b/c we believe, as did the vet, she was in constant pain and it was that night we decided that we needed to euthanize her :(  Panting can also be a sign of pain but then again it can be a sign of Laryngeal paralysis, maybe she had this?  She was 14 years old and lived a good life.  Within, the past year she had been living in the lap of luxury at my Dad's house b/c we have too many steps in our new house.  My Dad spoiled her giving her ice cream, biscotti, etc.! 

It was an emotional roller coaster that night.  I didn't handle it so well, and honestly I'm still quite upset by it, after all she was our first pet, even before we adopted the boys.  I can recall, one year we dressed her up as a pumpkin on Halloween and brought her to Ron's sister-YES we were those type of people-LOL!  As I've stated she was our first furry baby and our boys grew up with her, she let them eat her dog food with her, Lukey took care of her after her surgery...memories.  When we went to the vet we brought Ryan and Lukey with us.  This way they too could say there goodbyes.  Now, some may have an issue with how we handled this but we thought about it and we didn't want to lie to the boys about where Summer went-we want them to know that she was in pain and is now running and playing with Nanny in Heaven.

The boys were upset that night, it was probably b/c both Ron and I were extremely upset, but I will say that the next day Lukey was as happy as a little clam...go figure?!  But, Ryan was much more inquisitive with asking all types of questions, such as where Summer went to?  Or is Summer in pain anymore?  Or (my personal favorite) do you think Nanny will know who Summer is in Heaven?  SO profound!


Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan, & Lukey :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Ryan's Gait Lab Appointment







It was rough watching Ryan walk back and forth, up and down the, "Yellow Brick Road", (literally-that is what the dr.'s at DuPont refer to the Gait Lab as, b/c two artist were chosen to sketch/draw and then paint the "Yellow Brick Road") at his Gait Lab appointment on Thursday, September 16th.  I believe it hits home... maybe a bit too close.  With each turn that decided what pressure points he was or was not using correctly, or whether or not he was "hunched" over (for lack of better terminology) it was all too "REAL"! 


Lately, I've been thinking about Ryan and his special needs.  I realize its probably tougher for me b/c I KNOW what he will face by not being "typical" and it wakes me from a deep sleep some nights :/  Scary nightmares at what my baby will be and probably already has been presented with by those who feel superior to him or are just insecure in who they are at that time in their lives.  But, then I think to myself I can't even imagine our lives without Ryan in it, the notion is preposterous!  I can't even imagine saying NO to his referral, we won't accept the responsibility of raising a special needs child, lets face it Ron and I knew there were risks-as there are in any adoption.  There are risks when having a biological child too.  We held on to hope and took that leap of faith.  All this was swirling around in my brain as I'm sitting there watching Ryan walk up and down the yellow brick road...literally!  What gets me is that NEVER has he ever complained or whimpered or cried at what he has to go through...he just smiles at me and gives me the thumbs up that everything is good :)  Talk about admiring someone who is so young yet has all the wisdom as if he were an 80 year old man, what an inspiration!

Can you imagine when we get the Gait Lab Analysis, how distraught I'll be when that happens?!

Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan, & Lukey :)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

A 2nd Grader and a Preschooler...1st Day of School








On Tuesday, August 31st, Lukey was invited to view where he would be going to Preschool.  He loved it and thought that day he was actually going to Preschool b/c he said to me, "Bye-bye Mommy I'll see you later"!  To which I responded with a whimper and a cry, I managed to get out but your not leaving me...yet :)  He was extremely upset that I was not leaving his new classroom.

Then switch gears to Ryan, where on the first day of school, Tuesday, September 7th, he wanted nothing to do with school!  Didn't want to be a 2nd Grader, didn't want to get on the bus, didn't want to go to school, and most of all he didn't want any homework :/  I simply told him that it was ok to be scared about going back to school, he assured me he wasn't-he just didn't want to go!  Then, I asked him, "How can you be a big 2nd Grader if you don't want to go"?  He said, "BUT I DO WANT TO BE A BIG 2ND GRADER"!  And quickly stepped up onto the bus!

Now, Lukey was a totally different story...night and day between our boys!  He bounced out of bed and was dressed and seated at the breakfast table, in his school clothes no less (he has afternoon preschool), all by 7 AM!  That day was SO rough b/c he just wanted to go to preschool!  Poor kiddo!  Finally, the time had arrived for me to drop him off at preschool...I started bawling before we even entered the school's parking lot...not a good sign!  Lukey on the other hand told me, "Mommy don't worry you be ok without me for a little bit, I be back"!  With that he jumped out of my arms and lined up as if he has been doing this for months!  He is such an independent little man.  It was heart wrenching watching him march into his new preschool classroom :(  I've told everyone, who'll listen to me, I don't know what I'm going to do without my Lukey?  But, you know what I made it through those two and a half hours just fine and I realize Lukey needs this, he was ready for some type of preschool and we are extremely lucky that he won Voorhees School District's lottery.  According, to the paperwork sent home there were 47 applicants and only 7 boys and 7 girls chosen to go to Voorhees Preschool Program and we count our blessings b/c Lukey was one of those 7 boys!  It truly is for the best!  He needs a challenge and in fact, he told me one day, that I was boring and we need to do more stuff :/

When I picked Lukey up on his 1st Day of School, he came running over to me and gave me the biggest hug ever!  And, then asked me, Mommy you ok, did you do ok without me"?  "See, I told you I be back and here I am"!  Which, of course, made me cry even more!!!  He really adores preschool!!!

Ryan is doing better each and every day...its still a struggle but its getting better.  Hey, he'll have this down come June...LOL!!!

Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan, & Lukey :)