4 Years Ago Today...

Today is the 4 year anniversary of my Mom's passing...I never in a million years thought I would miss her SO much!  You would think that with every year would bring relief and almost a calming sense...NO not at all!!!  In a way I believe this year was tougher than the 1st year of her passing.  The reason is, everyone knew that 1st year...but everyone goes on, life goes on.  I'm in no way faulting family or friends, please don't think that this is the purpose of today's blog.  I am, in a sense, living my true feeling out loud and I mean no harm in my words.  Sorry if I've stepped on any one's toes.  It's also the sense that you are too raw to feel anything that 1st anniversary.  The 2nd anniversary, I believe was extremely hard too, b/c you realize that your loved one is not on vacation and they aren't coming through your front door :(  Last year, on her 3rd anniversary it came and went, I was a bit apprehensive BUT nothing like this year.  I was on edge all week long, just ask Ron :)  It literally took Ryan's Play Therapist to point out to me that it wasn't today-it was the anticipation leading up to today.  WHY on earth hadn't I seen that one?!  But she was spot on :/ 

I wrote to my aunt in an email that I just want to talk to my Mom again and get her advice.  I REALLY need to give her a huge hug, I miss her-boy do I miss her!  I was watching a show tonight (which will remain nameless) and there was this scene where a daughter needs a hug from her Mom and it dawned on me...I will never feel my Mom's arms around me again and doesn't every daughter need a hug from their Mom?!  I need her to tell me that all will be okay with Ryan.  No one but my Mom could calm me down when it came to Ryan and all of his diagnoses.  Sorry, for being such a downer :( 

My sister said something extremely poignant the other night, Mom will have been gone in the amount of time it took me (meaning my sister) to complete college.  It goes by in the blink of an eye.  Cherish every moment :)

Love & HUGS,
Jenny

Ryan's 1st Reconciliation

Tonight, Ryan attended his First Reconciliation Mass at Sacred Heart Church in Riverton.  We are SO proud of him!!!  Unfortunately, Ron couldn't make it due to unforeseen circumstances.  It was me in the pew with Ryan and Lukey, I told Ron if he leaves me in church again alone, there will be the wrath of me to comply with...LOL :)  I never realized that First Reconciliation is an extremely big deal to children who will be making their First Communion.  To me, Ryan is still an itty bitty baby that we brought home from Azerbaijan.  He truly is turning into a big boy right before our eyes.  However, when I left him with the priest he looked so tiny just sitting there as I looked back at him :)  There were four priests altogether and they sat in different areas on the alter to accommodate all of the children.  There are 92 children who will be making their First Communion in May 2011.  It is a huge class this year.

Again, I am sorry about the blurry photos...yes, they were taken with my cell :/


Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Lukey :)

OH SNOWBALLS :/

This is a saying that Ryan LOVES and boy can it be applied to this day :/  We went to an eye dr. appt. b/c all three of us (Ryan, Lukey and myself) needed an eye check-up.  Evidently, Ryan's eye muscles are deteriorating and he not only needs glasses but in addition to this requires "Vision Therapy".  When the eye dr. explained this to me I literally cried right then and there.  Reason?  B/C enough already!  How much more can this child endure?!  I do think it was everything as a whole.  It wasn't the fact that he'll need glasses, it's definitely cumulative circumstances.  Recently, Ryan has been complaining about reading, which is not like him at all and now we realize why :/  It's not a phase either.  It truly does scare me. 

I do have the website of the Pediatric Optometrist that was recommended to us and he is the only one in South Jersey who does Vision Therapy or we can go over to The Eye Institute in Philly.  Here's the site, http://www.drgallaway.com/vision_therapy.html. 

BTW, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO FAMILY & FRIENDS :)

Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Lukey :)

Year of The Bunny :)

Happy Lunar New Year, its the year of the bunny :)  We celebrated the Lunar New Year with the adoption support group, FACES.  The boys had a blast making bunny heads and their dragons.  Lukey was fascinated with the chop stick game, he played several rounds of this game.  What was hysterical, was that for every 5 M&M's you successfully put into the little bowl with your chop sticks, you would then take your little bowl and empty it into the bigger bowl in the middle of the table...Lukey didn't quite understand this part...he took the M& M's and proceeded to eat them, every time he had 5 in his little bowl.  It took us a while to realize what he was doing but when Ron and I did, we chuckled but put a stop to it.  He told us, I won (he said the word "winned"-grammar!) those M&M's, why do I have to put them back?  Again, out of the mouths of babes!  We told him he needed to put the M&M's back b/c he needs to share with everyone at the celebration...he didn't particularly care for this explanation.  Also, Lukey participated in the annual dragon parade.  And, who can forget the food...it was delicious, as always :)  Unfortunately, we didn't win any of the baskets this year...there is always next year :)

Enjoy the photos :)

Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Lukey :)

Early Spring???

Apparently, Punxsutawney Phil, The Groundhog, didn't see his shadow.  But, the question remains...can we trust the groundhog?!?  We shall wait and see.  As I've said time and time again...I feel as if we moved to Canada.  Honestly, I think it has snowed more than ever now that we reside in Voorhees.

On a side note, this past weekend my sister and her adorable boyfriend, Chris, visited us :)  I have the cutest video of Chris teaching Ryan to play the guitar.  Sorry about the quality of the photos and video, they were taken with my cell :/  I knew that if I ran to get my camera the moment would be gone.


Love & HUGS,
Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Lukey :)