Adoption Moment with Ryan

Above are photos of the fun we had on Sunday at Playland in Rye, NY where EAC had their Cultural Event/Reunion Picnic :)

I want to apologize for not blogging :/ Life is a little crazy here to say the least and it will be getting crazier with school starting for Ryan and myself, finding a babysitter for Luke, and arranging or I should say rearranging our schedules and our bonding time. But we Welcome new changes or so we think :/

An adoption moment with Ryan happened on Sunday and quite honestly I thought it would never happen. Ron and I have read and read on the subject of adoption and you read about how inquisitive children can be about their adoption. Well, Ryan has never truly been one of those inquisitive children. He more or less just goes with the flow. I hope that made sense?

Here's what happened: On Sunday we were going to a Cultural Event/Picnic Reunion that EAC (European Adoption Consultants) were having in upstate NY. EAC is the adoption agency we used to bring our younger son, Luke, home not too long ago...about 10 1/2 weeks ago at this point :) You always hear/read about these questions happening at the most inopportune times...well, I now know what adoptive parents mean by this! We were sitting at WaWa filling up on gas, and Ryan asked "Mommy where are we going again"? I said to him, "we are going to a picnic that EAC is having and EAC is your baby brothers adoption agency that we used to bring him home from Russia". It's funny b/c you could actually see the wheels turning in Ryan's head, he then asked me, is Luke adopted? I sorta chuckled but then composed myself and realized that this is "actually" happening and the reason Ryan is asking is b/c he doesn't remember, so I said of course he is adopted, just like you are too :) Ryan then asked I'm adopted too? As if it just dawned on him that he too was adopted and it was as if something "clicked" and the light bulb was burning so bright at that very moment. Now up until this point he had never asked any of these types of adoption questions before. We always told Ryan that YES he was adopted and when we brought his baby brother Luke home that he too was adopted, we have never kept any of this from him. Ryan then asked me "why did you and Daddy adopt us (meaning him and his brother)"? I thought to myself OM here we go, here it is "all the adoptive magazines, books, articles, etc., that we have read up to this point all boil down to this one moment"!!! I was talking to myself at this point, b/c did I forget to mention that Ron was in WaWa? I said to Ryan, in terms he could understand, that the reason Mommy and Daddy adopted is b/c we loved each other very much and we wanted to share that love with you and with your brother. We very much wanted to adopt you and your brother. Again, you could see that this was making a huge impact on him and he was seriously thinking about what I was saying. I could then see a smile come across his face and then the questions (for now) had stopped and he asked me something totally off the subject of adoption and it was then I realized okay he must be done, is this what the "adoption experts" mean? I wanted to ask him "how did Mommy do at answering your questions? Too much information or not enough"? Personally I would have gone on till the cows came home but all the experts state not to over-analyze, keep it simple, in terms your child can understand, etc. And of course you can't ask this question to your child, but hey wouldn't it be nice if you could? I also find it funny that two very simple, yet complicated, questions can so intimidating to us as adoptive parents.

Ron came into the car as tears were rolling down my face and he asked what did I do now? I answered him, it's not you, it's our son, Ryan...he's growing up!!! It wasn't until later (Ryan was out of ear shot) that I explained to Ron exactly what enfolded in the car earlier in the day.

Then, on Monday night Ryan asked us "what he needed to do in order to get into Heaven"? Where do children come up with this stuff?

Love & HUGS,

Jenny, Ron, Ryan & Luke :)